book reviews

Book Review: How To Be A Healthy & Happy Submissive by Kate Kinsey

Photo of the book How To Be A Healthy & Happy Submissive by Kate KinseyTitle: How To Be A Happy & Healthy Submissive
Author: Kate Kinsey
Dates read: 17/04/22 – 18/09/22
Rating 4/5

Publisher: Nevermore Press
Number of pages: 192
Fiction or non-fiction: non-fiction
Subject or genre: BDSM, sexuality

Book blurb:

Beyond Fifty Shades of Grey, there’s an entire kinky world of BDSM, full of real life dominants and submissives enjoying an intimacy and satisfaction in their relationships that vanilla folk only dream of. Whether you want to explore your own submissive fantasies, or you’re just curious about what BDSM is really like, this book will answer all your questions, plus some you didn’t know you had.

Erotic author Kate Kinsey (“Red,” and “The Totally Uncensored Kinky Adventures of Chloe St. Claire, Sex Slave”) brings over a decade of experience as a submissive and kinky educator to this practical step-by-step guide to being a healthy and happy submissive.

Topics covered include: the differences between dominants and masters, submissives and slaves, and tops and bottoms; the different dominant styles; the truth about “training” to be a submissive; how to find like-minded folks in your area; how to negotiate scenes and relationships; what to expect at your first dungeon party; why some people actually enjoy pain; and the warning signs to look out for when talking to potential partners

How I discovered or acquired this book: It was recommended to me by Amazon after reading The Topping Book & The Bottoming Book, and I got it through Kindle Unlimited

Notable quotes The power actually goes both ways because the dominant, by controlling and caring for the submissive, actually empowers the submissive to be who and what they truly are

My thoughts Before we go any further, I feel it is relevant (but also possibly TMI for some) to note that I am a submissive, have known it since my early 20s WAAAY before terrible horrible things like Fifty Shades happened (and that’s a whole ‘nother rant for another day! LOL). Continuing in the TMI thread, neither my Dominant or I have any recent experience and have been doing what all good nerds do, and reading up to refresh ourselves.

This is a really well-written, informative beginner’s guide on what it means to be a submissive. It’s very informal, peppered with anecdotes of Kinsey’s own life/experience and feels like she’s sitting and chatting with you. It doesn’t assume any former knowledge, and is aimed at educating the reader without lecturing.

Part of me wishes I could have read this 10 years ago – I would have found the information on communities and red flags when it comes to Dominants and online behaviour to have been invaluable. But it was also nice to almost have confirmation that the way we’re currently doing things now is ‘right’ – we all need a little external validation from time to time, after all .

4/5, I really loved it, wouldn’t necessarily read the whole thing again but would dip in and out of it as/when needed

book reviews

Drive-by Mini-Reviews

The only issue with reading multiple books at the same time, is that every now and again you manage to finish a whole collection of them all at the same time, which is what’s happened to me over the last few days. And, naturally, I was busy with school and work and real life and didn’t have time to write up a review for them.

I contemplated writing a full review for each one, queuing them up and letting them post over a couple of days but honestly… couldn’t be bothered. So you’re just going to get some mini reviews instead!

The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid.
4/5, historical-fiction, lgbtqia+, romance
Absolutely fucking loved it. I can definitely see why everyone has been raving about it and in my opinion, bery worth the hype! It took quite a bit of reading but the more I got into it, the less I could put it down. There were many excited phone calls to Li where I rambled about each husband and each era of Evelyn’s life. It was beautiful and heartbreaking and I defintely want to read more by this author

Life Support by Tess Gerritsen.
3/5, medical, mystery, suspense, thriller
My mum and I used to read the Rizzoli & Isles books as they came out in the 2000s, but I never read very much of Gerritsen’s works that aren’t in the series. This gives you an idea of how long it’s been on my TBR. I have the physical copy but ended up checking this out on Libby over Christmas when I was at Li’s/was exploring the app. I found it a little slow to start with, didn’t feel like I meshed with many of the characters and couldn’t quite see how the pregnant hooker storyline meshed with the CJD storyline… until the last quarter of the book when everything came crashing together and wow. Reminded me why I love Gerritsen (more of her books back on my TBR) and why I love medical thrillers!

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy
3/5, bdsm, non-fiction, sexuality
I’ve read both The Topping and Bottoming Books by Easton & Hardy and, probably because I’m a sub, I definitely preferred the Bottoming Book. This one was interesting enough though, taught me more about the mindset of Dominants and what they can/do get out of BDSM relationships. I loved the scenes interspersed througout the book and the toys section was fun. But, admittedly, had me rolling my eyes a little at the ritual and spirituality chapters

Pilgrimage (Very Short Introduction) by Ian Reader
3/5, non-fiction, religion, travel
Remember how I said last year I was really struggling to read? Yeah, I started this in March 2021. Nothing against the book, it was very interesting. The concept of pilgrimages has always interested me, we touched on the subject in a religious studies unit of my course and since I have access to the Very Short Introductions library through my university library, I picked it up to read. Both religious and secular pilgrimages, as well as historical information were included and I enjoyed it at a lot

I am still trying to read far too much, because I’m me. 14 books right now. But I’m mostly focusing on just 5 – most of which are due back to the library next week. Then I’m going to focus on the rest of my currently reading and working on my physical TBR before checking any more out. Or, at least that’s the plan…
A Court Of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas
The Cruel Prince by Holly Black
Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
The Comfort Book by Matt Haig
Beyond The Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menow