Title: How To Be A Happy & Healthy Submissive
Author: Kate Kinsey
Dates read: 17/04/22 – 18/09/22
Rating 4/5

Publisher: Nevermore Press
Number of pages: 192
Fiction or non-fiction: non-fiction
Subject or genre: BDSM, sexuality

Book blurb:

Beyond Fifty Shades of Grey, there’s an entire kinky world of BDSM, full of real life dominants and submissives enjoying an intimacy and satisfaction in their relationships that vanilla folk only dream of. Whether you want to explore your own submissive fantasies, or you’re just curious about what BDSM is really like, this book will answer all your questions, plus some you didn’t know you had.

Erotic author Kate Kinsey (“Red,” and “The Totally Uncensored Kinky Adventures of Chloe St. Claire, Sex Slave”) brings over a decade of experience as a submissive and kinky educator to this practical step-by-step guide to being a healthy and happy submissive.

Topics covered include: the differences between dominants and masters, submissives and slaves, and tops and bottoms; the different dominant styles; the truth about “training” to be a submissive; how to find like-minded folks in your area; how to negotiate scenes and relationships; what to expect at your first dungeon party; why some people actually enjoy pain; and the warning signs to look out for when talking to potential partners

How I discovered or acquired this book: It was recommended to me by Amazon after reading The Topping Book & The Bottoming Book, and I got it through Kindle Unlimited

Notable quotes The power actually goes both ways because the dominant, by controlling and caring for the submissive, actually empowers the submissive to be who and what they truly are

My thoughts Before we go any further, I feel it is relevant (but also possibly TMI for some) to note that I am a submissive, have known it since my early 20s WAAAY before terrible horrible things like Fifty Shades happened (and that’s a whole ‘nother rant for another day! LOL). Continuing in the TMI thread, neither my Dominant or I have any recent experience and have been doing what all good nerds do, and reading up to refresh ourselves.

This is a really well-written, informative beginner’s guide on what it means to be a submissive. It’s very informal, peppered with anecdotes of Kinsey’s own life/experience and feels like she’s sitting and chatting with you. It doesn’t assume any former knowledge, and is aimed at educating the reader without lecturing.

Part of me wishes I could have read this 10 years ago – I would have found the information on communities and red flags when it comes to Dominants and online behaviour to have been invaluable. But it was also nice to almost have confirmation that the way we’re currently doing things now is ‘right’ – we all need a little external validation from time to time, after all .

4/5, I really loved it, wouldn’t necessarily read the whole thing again but would dip in and out of it as/when needed